I knew the creek was cold. I walked to the edge with Kelly, my new friend, and put a toe in. Instantly back in the bathtub, the littler me. This body of mine has been carrying around the memory of pain associated with cold water for a long time.
When my handler for L’Auberge de Sedona asked me which spa treatment I would like to experience weeks earlier as my trip was being set up, I graciously replied that I would be grateful for any of them but to please choose the one that was most authentic to the property and experience of L’Auberge – she made an appointment for me to have their “Feet in the Creek” signature treatment.
One year earlier, I sat in the middle of the Airport Vortex, the place in Sedona where you can access the energy from all four vortexes at once and I experienced a powerful meditation. While I was meditating I heard a vortex guide share the power of the place, he said that you could collect the energy from the vortexes and put it into a bubble and send it off to someone, or keep it for yourself. That day I sent a bubble of energy to my future spirit and a wish for guidance. At the time I knew I was lost but I was too afraid to listen to my intuition.
The invitation to visit Sedona one year later came quickly and magically. I’ve learned to trust synchronicities and expect magic so when it came I looked up and smiled and said “thank you,” and the days leading up to the trip I was full of anticipation knowing, knowing, that I was being called there for a reason.
There was a stillness about time that weekend, about everything actually. It was as if time was standing still, like the dimension didn’t exist. The greens, I remember the greens the most, so lush and inviting, so alive. The creek too. I slipped into the still, according to plan.
As I sat next to Kelly, hand-picked for this day by the Universe and on-staff at L’Auberge with expertise in body work and spirit guidance, I took the deep breaths she asked me to take and I slipped my feet in. It was then that I dropped in - in to this moment in time, into this moment that I myself crafted, into this moment at the end of a long series of lifetimes’ worth of moments strung together to arrive here.
Her words faded into the breeze as I began to arrive in my body. I remember trying to concentrate on the meditation invitation, but I was distracted by the memory in my toes now traveling up my legs and starting to wrap itself around my body. I was crying, little again. Cold. Determined as I always am when faced with an invitation to overcome this past-related fear I started to put my legs in little by little, and then I noticed her. She was my future spirit I gifted the bubble to one year before and maybe even the feisty little me mixed in too. They held my hand that day, in that moment by the cold water creek. And the download began.
I believe we choose our parents, our spirit does. It’s part of designing the life we want to live. Sometimes this life is more about a lesson or lessons you want or need to learn. I got this reminder during the download, and it hit me; this spirit epiphany. I chose the cold baths. I chose the hard father. I chose the long history of hard relationships. I chose a life, this time around, of learning big, hard, deep lessons – not the easy way, but the brave way. I chose it.
As I sat by the creek feeling all of this deeply it dawned on me that it was my father’s birthday, and the shared birthday of my most recent heartbreak – the heartbreak that started one year before in Sedona and lasted because I was too afraid to listen to my intuition. It was the heartbreak that I sat with, in a brand-new relationship at the time, during my meditation in the Airport Vortex, the one I meditated on when I sent my future self a request for guidance.
This was an invitation to cut cords. My feet in the creek, my hands held on both sides, by me. Surrounded by all of the elements, and nothing at all, it hit me.
By design, on my last life, regaining the power of my chosen existence, that I chose this path for my spirit to learn, to hurt, to feel, to heal, to deserve, to appreciate, to love, to be…not lightly, but deeply – so deeply.
With Kelly’s help I did a cord cutting and offered the water back, and I made a promise to myself aloud that I would honor this power that I choose this and that I would get into cold water soon as a form of baptism. With this, the cords were cut and the download was complete.
I walked to the rock in the middle of the creek very carefully and asked Kelly to take my photograph, and as I was turning to walk back I slipped and fell, gracefully somehow, into the creek. I sat there waist-high, again time standing still, in water that was suddenly warm.