Do you know the difference between calling out and calling in?
I got called out today in a social group that I am in. I misunderstood the rules and invited someone into the group without checking with the Admin first. Instead of sending me a private note, she called me out in the group in front of everyone.
Has this ever happened to you? It feels terrible.
It felt worse for me because I'm a pleaser, I don't like conflict and I really felt like my intentions were in the right place. It made me feel embarrassed, and small, and put in my place.
And this is exactly what the person calling someone out is intending to do.
When you call someone in, you speak to them privately. It's a heart to heart, generally the intention is to express truth and come to a mutual understanding. It's less about power, or oppression, and more about love and mutual respect.
We live in a time where navigating these careful ways of communicating with each other is paramount. And how someone treats you when they want to express concern is a sure indicator of their intentions , and how they feel about you.
Let's do more calling in.